Almost 37 and Shining: Reliable, Not a People Pleaser

As much as I’d love to be everyone’s best friend, the truth is: this world can be wild and scary. Sometimes, my head is in the clouds, floating on optimism and hope. And honestly, that’s just who I am. I’ve come to accept that. If some people have a problem with it? Great. Every now and then, I welcome a reality check. It helps me recalibrate and discern who is truly meant to be in my life and who is not.

What I’m really trying to say comes back to that well-worn but powerful truth: “Don’t let anyone dim your light.” Often, those who react negatively to your shine are grappling with their own battles, internal or external, that have little to do with you. But your light may inadvertently highlight the shadows within them that still need healing.

As I turn 37 this week, I’ve been reflecting a lot on my people-pleasing tendencies. I used to view them as flaws, as if they were things I needed to fix. But now I see them differently. Yes, I’m sensitive. Yes, I can get hurt when people pull away, especially when I’ve bent over backwards for them. But instead of labeling that as people-pleasing, I’m calling it what it really is: being reliable.

And that’s a big shift.

I’m the friend who shows up. Who responds in what I consider a timely fashion. Who puts your needs on par with my own. Who genuinely cares - not because I’m keeping score, but because connection matters to me. That’s not a weakness. That’s strength, and I’m proud of it.

Moving forward, I plan to set clearer boundaries. Initially, I caught myself slipping into the all-too-human “tit-for-tat” mentality: “They never reach out to me, so why should I bother?” But if we all lived by that rule, none of us would reach out. We’d be left in our isolated corners, waiting. Alone.

And isn’t that something many of us wrestle with in adulthood? Navigating friendship, reciprocity, and emotional labor?

So here’s my intention for this next chapter:
I will no longer view my bright, hopeful nature as people-pleasing. I will see it as dependability, as being a consistent light, even if I sometimes retreat into the shadows. Don’t we all?

This year, I will pour more into those who pour back. I will free myself from silent hurt by speaking up, especially when people who once distanced themselves try to circle back in. Communication is everything. In a world where ghosting, or what I prefer to call fading, has become the norm, real connection requires effort, honesty, and presence.

At the end of the day, I believe we can all learn something from each other. And maybe, just maybe, it’s not as one-sided as it sometimes seems. As I welcome 37, I also welcome boundaries, clarity, and the power of being reliably me.