Mindreading, Judgment, and Split-Mindedness: What We Can Learn From Each Other

In psychology, mindreading usually refers to a cognitive distortion: the false belief that you know what someone else is thinking without clear evidence. For example, assuming someone is upset with you simply because they didn’t respond right away.

Therapists, on the other hand, use something very different called empathic attunement: the ability to tune in to a client’s feelings and reflect them back in a way that helps the client feel truly understood. It’s not the same as mindreading, but I can see why the two ideas get mixed up.

For me, mindreading has been a lifelong habit. Living with paranoia since I can remember, many of my thoughts have come from assuming I knew something I didn’t.

And I don’t think I’m alone in this. In today’s world, a lot of us fall into this trap. Even if we wouldn’t call it mindreading, we might call it judgment: something everyone has done, and something that feels especially heightened in the current climate of division.

Sometimes, simply naming what we’re doing makes us more aware of it. Awareness gives us the chance to pause, shift, and even transform that initial judgment into compassion.

I’ll admit, it only recently struck me that this tendency connects to what some traditions describe as “split-mindedness.” As a confirmed Catholic since my teens, I see it through the story of Adam and Eve, where that split first began. But whether you interpret it through faith, spirituality, or psychology, the truth remains: at our core, we are self-focused beings first.

That doesn’t have to be discouraging. Instead, it gives us something to work with. Recognizing our default patterns—whether you call it ego, selfishness, or split-mindedness—helps us learn healthier ways to cope. It helps us replace judgment with compassion, disgust with curiosity, and division with understanding.

In the end, I believe we can all learn from each other. Sometimes it’s through shared values, and sometimes it’s through differences that spark healing or reflection. Either way, the lesson is there if we’re open to it.

Stay grateful. Stay humble.